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Saturday, May 7, 2016

The Cobustible Animal Vs The AlphaBeast-Part I: Hillary Clinton



KC Shoen

I have a rather long history railing against elections of all stripes for their corruptible processes, and railing against the electorate who posture, condemn, cuss, harass, condescend and justify ad-hominid exchanges  against opposing candidates, parties and their supporters without adherence to informed, objective overview: i.e. ‘exact nature’ of  what these candidates are, and what they have done. Equally important, which corporate sectors or entities have supported them and drive their policy-making derivative of such confluence.

And it is that time again: the fundamental American rite of passage to vote against one’s own interest is upon us. Many of you that have participated thus far in this 2015/16 primary cycle now believing your candidate is representing your best interests. As if your personal calculated bias to the your ‘party’ or candidate will somehow reap a favorable outcome non-respective of the candidate’s ties to lobbyists that they troll (or that they are trolled by), or examine the acidic vitriol they weave publicly for your consumption and support.  Logic, understanding exactly what is the ‘engine’ that drives these side shows, vetting their activity and messaging with more scrutiny becomes immediate casualty.

For this, I don’t vote. I don’t vote because there are no ‘choices’: period. The mantra of voting of the ‘lesser of two evils’ is not sacrosanct; it’s closer akin to a complete act of participatory conformity for the sake of the act itself, whilst the act of voting produces no discernably positive outcome for change. Write-in votes and voting as rebellion is complete self-serving pretention with no real palpable impact as well.  

But don’t take my word for it: just look at the 40+ years since Nixon.

Living wages haven’t increased meaningfully since 1970: Jobs and pay are still at-issue.
The defense budget, which, since 1960, has ballooned to become 55% of all tax-payer driven federal discretionary spending, despite recent poll upon poll revealing that the American public wants sharp curtailment of this expenditure, and wants to be relieved of participating in ‘spreading democracy’ oversees for the sake of ‘anti-terrorism’ and American ‘exceptionalism’.

Add to this, the 15 years’ worth of US occupation and combat operations in Afghanistan and Iraq, with Iraq’s northern territory still heavily fortified by ISIL to date. The legacy of that invasion, and subsequent overthrow of Saddam Hussein which led to the “de-ba’athification” as proposed by the now-defunct ‘Office of Special Plans’ under the Bush Administration (you recall the geniuses behind that brilliant strategy: Paul Wolfowitz and Douglas Feith), which in turn gave rise and resource to the sectarian resistance lead by a very sophisticated organization of the Daesh itself..

Nothing has changed.

Years of violating foreign national sovereignty, war, cultural, racial and religious disbarment and dismemberment, marginalization and empire-building for the capture and marketing of resource monetization and western capitalism.

From the Obama’s administration penchant for drone use, re-negging on whistleblower's protections, being rather cozy and cuddly with one of many institutions that destroyed our economy in 2007-8, and for overseeing a country more divided racially, culturally, and economically  then in any other time over the last 45 years.

Tack on Watergate, The Pentagon Papers, Vietnam, the Stonewall Riots, Nicaragua, the multiple Israeli-Palistinean Conflicts since 1967, the Iran-Contra Scandal, The War On Drugs, the Energy Crisis. From the 1968 riots at the DNC in Chicago, the Kent State shootings of 1970, to the S&L Scandals of the 1980’s, and mix in a total of 7  economic recessions since 1970 in the middle of all this , you can see..

Nothing. Really. Has. Changed.

The meaningless nomenclatures of ‘Democrat’ and ‘Republican’ haven’t had any true meaning in nearly half a century as well. The idea of ‘party’ is outmoded, and has nothing to do with the zeitgeist and exact nature of the dynamics on the ground in modern politics, and are out of the biased ‘eye’ of corporate media. To use these ‘tags’ doesn’t serve any real purpose: the only ‘party’ in this election cycle is that of the ‘Corporate Party’ which have steadily and exponentially acquired ownership of the policy process since ’70.

The current frontrunners are re-constituted vermin from this historical and legislative morass. One, notably wears the veneer of ‘progressive’ and really isn’t one.  The other has figured out where to ‘get in to fit in’, and isn’t really a ‘conservative’ either.  Neither are what they purport through their righteous and empty rhetoric, which is also nothing new.  To examine closely their background is to understand why these two current megalomaniacal egocentrics care little for conducting any meaningful activity as it relates to forwarding human progression for this nation or the world, as their own legacies are of higher priority.


In the case of Hillary Diane Rodham, the correct analysis with regard to her formative upbringing is more working class, less elitist American ‘monarchy’ of the Capitalist Realm in its erstwhile roots than Donald John Trump. Her father ran a successful textile business, her mother a home maker. Both were politically active, and the household leaned conservative, with mom being particularly concerned of social injustice. Both parents did not wish for their daughter to be bound by her gender, and to be allowed to seek career over ‘traditional’ roles that being of a housewife and mother. Ms. Rodham came of age in the ‘60s and, living in Chicago, was present in the most conflagrate epicenters of the counter-culture/civil rights movement.

 At the tender age of 13, while canvassing Chicago’s south side in support of Richard Nixon she inadvertently uncovered voter fraud being committed against him in 1960. She famously became a ‘Goldwater Girl’ in the 1964 election cycle. At 17 she was entranced by the Arizona Senator’s unyielding views with regards to the utilization of the Nuclear option against Vietnam and the Soviet Union to combat the communist scourge, his contentiousness against social welfare and the continuing legacy of Roosevelt’s ‘New Deal’ which he deemed as hand-outs to those in poverty unwilling to pull their own weight, and his racist anti-civil rights stance. Goldwater’s landslide loss to Lyndon B. Johnson that year, although devastating, gave rise to the Conservative movement, and gave both political birth to Ronald Reagan as its helmsman in latter years, and legitimacy as a political force of the modern era. It would also prove most impacting upon Hillary the Younger as Goldwater’s extreme staunchness and political piety she would absorb into her persona when she achieved office.

Ms. Rodham’s time at Wellesley was not ‘dead-time’ as obligatory scholastic placation.  As in high school, she would prove to be an academic of the rarest breed from the day she entered the campus. Academics often pride themselves in their ability to recount regurgitated information as if it is prescient of ‘knowledge’ they harbor originally as their ‘own’, but an intelligent mind receives information, digests it and learns to approach with nuance of the thing as to truly understand it.

Hillary was there to learn, not just awaiting accolades validating time and tenure.  So defined was this intelligence, she chose the radicalistic community organizer  Saul Alinsky as the topic of her senior thesis.  When she had completed it in 1969 she received a well-deserved A grade on her 92-page final paper. She abandoned the ‘Republican Party’ and had realized that she herself was "a mind conservative and a heart liberal". This she had come to terms with, after her attendance of the Republican convention in ’68 where she witnessed the vile racism Nixon was imparting in his messaging against his opponents. Ms. Rodham understood she was of nuance in her politicos, extending this further when she conducted post-graduate studies at Yale, earning her J.D. (Juris Doctorate) in 1973. Ms. Rodham had some substantial firsts in her young life: the first student ever to render a commencement speech upon graduating from Wellesley, to becoming the first female chair of the Legal Services Corporation nearly a decade later.

She earned all of it, and of her own volition, work and efforts. In ’75 she would marry William Jefferson Clinton, putting her own path at sacrifice to combine her political ambitions with that of his, and had done so reluctantly, as establishing her separate path, her own political legacy, was paramount. It was a brilliant arrangement however; one that would take them both from the Arkansas Capital Building to the White House to begin engraving that legacy into the stratosphere, with she as First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Certainly, as well, her views on race relations, in regards to crime and wages would take a decidedly more ‘privileged’ and conservative tract. The now-infamous ‘bring them to heel” comment from her egregious and pompous January 1996 speech atKeene State University is demonstrative that Clinton, not only herself entitled, believed as well that harsher rhetoric and approach was needed to extol the privileged. Below are excerpts taken from that speech that makes this argument more palpable, broken up into three sub-sections


Opening
“..The first challenge to cherish our children and strengthen the American Family. I know that most of us understand now there is nothing more important than what we give to our children, how we spend our time with them, how we invest our energy, how we love them and discipline them. And each of us has a responsibility to care for children whether or not we are parents. And those of us who are parents have special obligation to do all we can so that every American child grows up with two parents in a stable dependable home….

Wages
“Most people working at minimum wage are not students, are not temporary workers. They are working people supporting themselves and children. Very often they are single parents; they work in our restaurants..gas stations..at all the jobs that keep things going .. that may not be very visible but are essential to our economic well-being..and take care of us.”

Crime Bill
“We.. have to have an organized effort against gangs, just as in the previous generation we had an organized effort against the mob. We need to take these people on, they are often connected to big drug cartels, they are not just gangs of kids anymore…they are often the kinds of kids called ‘super predators’:   no conscience, no empathy. We can talk about why they ended up that way, but first we have to bring them to heel..”

As George Carlin once said, it is the language that you use that gives it away, referring directly to the euphemistic and coded language often spun by professional politicians and corporate enterprises alike. It is the language used to hide true meaning and intent, and used to trivialize, or soften a complex or difficult subject. It is also use to manipulate and evade for the sake of its own preservation and expansion of power.

The ‘language’ captured here represents the pathos of white, upper-class entitlement. The words either underlined or emboldened for emphasis indicates where the context and pattern of this pathos makes itself clear. She speaks of children in the opening portion of her speech as if nearly a Rockwell painting of pure Americana.

White, privileged Americana.

In the second, she interlopes pronouns of ‘us’ and ‘them’ in explanation of minimum wage increase for the working poor. Even in ’96, the predominate faces one would see at a gas station or restaurant was usually non-white, particularly in almost every large liberal American city. The last line in that paragraph really shines the light on the assumption of social piety, structure and stature with regards to the working class, stating of these workers who” ..may not be very visible but are essential to our economic well-being..and take care of us.”

This summation of entitlement and exceptionalism is affirmed when Clinton speaks of these illusory, non-existent (and ethnic) ‘super predators’. The term ‘children’ with which the delicate adjective being reserved only for the deserving; the ‘innocent’, is replaced with the blunted adjective of ‘kids’ as a demeaning pejorative when referencing gangs and the crime bill. Instead of  “..there is nothing more important than what we give to our children”, the tone changes to “ the kinds of kids called ‘super predators’:   no conscience, no empathy. We can talk about why they ended up that way, but first we have to bring them to heel..” there’s was no further exploration of a “dependable home” for “them..kids”. Just that they need to be “brought to heel”, like some rabid pit bulls devoid of being deserving of such compassion.

Hillary began her separation from her own working class beginnings with these phrases, taking a cue from the staunchness of Barry Goldwater himself. Language gives you away, indeed


Certainly there would be other  questions of integrity, ethics, and legalities with regards to her business dealings around that timeframe: the Whitewater controversy, Travelgate, Filegate, and  the cattle futures controversy, just to name a few. But all had turned up nothing, and the Clinton’s collective empire building continued through the late 90’s through Bill Clinton’s second term.

 There was a nagging situation, however, from some second-rate actress, and penthouse centerfold  who had tried to make some noise in ’92 about an alleged affair she had with Bill Clinton, but even that did did not impact the power couple’s rising stock and power..

Then August 17, 1998 happened.

This was the very moment of the ‘grand tilt’: The Lewinsky affair. It turned Hillary from a less-than-perfect potential human force of change for the common good into a completely monstrous cataclysmal human archipelago of megalomaniacal sociopathy; morphing into a combustible animal of entitlement with a hunger for vindication and validation. This assertion is not naïve:  she exhibited tell-tale shades of highly questionable ethics as mentioned above, co-sponsoring and supporting the odious and racially oppressive 1994 crime bill her husband put together which decimated impoverished African-American communities through increased incarceration and prison construction, both as extension of their political capital, and conforming to the blithely draconian war on drugs.

But what should have been a private, domestic matter between husband and wife turned into a rollicking big-top event for all the public to participate in. An issue that not only destroyed the image of the Clinton brand politically, but produced a smeared and septic perception of their marital union being that of convenience, a business arrangement purely for that of political clout and personal expansion of wealth; not built on mutualistic trust, love, empathy and human companionship.  Adding infidelity into an already-questionable mix of seemingly dubious activities and ethics, it morphed into the projectile nearly sinking their ship.

Hillary would never again allow further damaging of the very thing she had strived for initially since her academic youth: legacy. Political legacy. The Combustible Animal that is now Hillary Rodham Clinton, was borne from this embarrassment, pain and insult. Greedy, hawkish, manipulative, corrupted and without discernable human compassing that resembles anything sentient.  Deposited deep into the catacombs of self-consuming wealth and prestige, so destructively protective of she and her husband that any individual inside their 'circle' who would have temerity enough to question their integrity, or was not loyal, could be met with career destruction, incarceration, or possibly meet a ‘curious’ death during such imprisonment.

The intelligent nuance she had grasped and utilized to great affect in her younger years now evaporated. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s anamorphia deducted her ‘liberal heart’. Though her persona never truly was imbuing of complete organic authenticity by no stretch, (as no career attorney nor politician truly is capable of that level of humanistic piety), whatever redeeming conscientiousness she did have left in reserve died on that August day.

This Combustible Animal now has the teeth, will and means to participate in the monetary misogyny that is politics, and has done so unrepentant and unapologetic through the years since. Pugilistic through polite pontification,  euphemistic jargon and gerrymandering:   Hillary Clinton now is an Orwellian feat accomplished.

Even as this is written, the ‘feat’ in 2016 has seen Hillary’s derisive disdain against dissenters, or those who dare question her activity, ethics or integrity are on full display: be it in her presence, in debates with youth voters using passive aggressive dismissal when addressed directly about the impact of over-incarceration, to near-pejorative, condescending brinkmanship to cut off the conversation entirely. Secretary Clinton’s  24 year-plus history with accepting speaking fees and campaign bankrolling  from the financial sector is also not up for debate ,  contract review nor substantial moral inventory, not even as a passing, topical conversation during a campaign stop in an attempted non-substantive interview. And when she isn’t committing full-on misdirection when asked about the subject of her speeches to Goldman Sachs, (or ‘laughing it off’), she is outwardly vitriolic when faced with a reasonable and factual question from a constituent in regards to the energy lobby’s financial contributions to her candidacy.
  
She has been righteously disingenuous with regards to the e-mail server fiasco while Secretary of State, which metastasized from a less-than-stellar political witch-hunt against her behalf to a potential criminal investigation by the FBI, whom have already secured testimonial immunity for one of her former staffers who helped set up her personal server. The investigation has been a year-long odyssey (at the time of this post), which could see Secretary Clinton being brought in for interview by the Department of Justice  and might possibly see an indictment being levied against her for gross negligence.

To this date, Secretary Clinton has been (as always) dismissive of the possibility. Why shouldn’t she be? Even if this last insurrection of complete malfeasance actually finds her doing prison time, why should she be concerned at current? After all, the Combustible Animal has been able to weather such accusation and controversy and has been Teflon, where no conviction or punitive damage has ever laid a hand or a handcuff well enough to stick.

Hillary in a half-life, only promulgating sanctimonious rhetoric to suit her ends, even using gender to engender bias that allows only her advancement.  She can espouse a rousing ‘deal me in’ in response to Donald Trump’s ‘woman card’ reference, but rest assured, the only women’s rights she interested in breaking that glass ceiling with is her own, and no one else.

All this is a full-on, unabridged ‘fuck you’ to true progressives, to women who are not her, African-Americans and the working class. And a special ‘go fuck yourself’ to her own roots. Hillary the FireDog who once did concern herself of how governance and law can change a system from the inside out, is now a complicit Animal in the systemic fuselage of lobbyist malfeasance and policy manipulation, a happy recipient of the privilege to ‘play’, and render smokescreens when any credible question of ethics are directed at her.

The Ghost of Saul Alinksy now properly silenced in her past, the Lewinsky affair placed squarely in forgettable history, as well as possible criminal activity of years past literally and metaphorically buried, she can get on with the task more important than ceasing all combat operations worldwide, ensuring equity within our economic structure, convicting those who have harmed, and continue to harm that structure, seeking fairer trade deals that consider workers’ rights, divorcing herself from corporate PHaRMa , ConAgra, the Financial  and Energy sector leviathans that are destroying our planet., etc…

The Combustible Animal has but a more important goal in mind, and above all else…

 Legacy.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

People Not Gathered- 'Into The Empty'


                                                 










                                               



                                   






                                               
                          Into The Empty
                                                               (A Neo-Classical Interpretation on the Effects of Modern Corruption)
                            Lyrics, Music & Production by K. Shoen. Released by ShoEnTeL Publishing
                                                                  ©2013 ShoEnTeL Music

Into the Empty                                                                    
In lights of Dark Amber
A battle’s concluded           
 No sentence commuted.
 Plucked from our station
 In extrapolation
 Discarded like refuse
To rot in displacement

(CHORUS-1)
            And all I see—
             Is the edge of all the blocked-out lights.
            No choice but to be
            An aging dog harassed into fights

Southbound and wayward
Afforded no favor
By street lamp we camp near,
As cash turns to vapor
We stand as pariahs
By corporate messiahs
Those gilded in stature
Just keep making paper…
          
(CHORUS-2)
            And all I see—
             Is the edge of all the blocked-out lights.
            No choice but to be
            The hungry dog growling at the night.
        
Rainwater’s leaking
Through holes in the ceiling
 Like cracks through the center of my dreams
So tired and wasted
Claustrophobic & Anxious
The Beast of This Burden: the Guilt is the Anchor
And Fear like a Sickness, contagious and impish
Judgment is passed by those who did not witness..



(CHORUS-3)
            And all I see—
             Is the edge of all the blocked-out lights.
            What Am I to Be
            Like A Dog bound and chained to the Blight?—


MeMo To A. : The Rap

Blood’s curdlin’ thick like on methadone
Busted out, shut down all when the struggle’s on
Slammin’ Doors, rollin’ eyes while U criticize
Raised U Like a Father, but now don’t sympathize
Long enough just 2 give us 1 hour
A hot meal, some support , and a simple shower
For all the speeches, the rants, & the banter
Sleepin’ street-side while U work on your cantor..
Preachin’ standards, and nothing of substance
Your brotha and your sista; they reap all the punishment,
And really, while U wanna act so straight-laced
All U bring to your siblings is a Punch 2 the Face

(The Presidential Break)

My Darling I Love You
All I Have is this Lean-to
This board upon Wheels as our home
For years you’ve depended
On me, your Lieutenant to defend & protect all our own
        And Why,
To stand in the presence of my precious descendants
 (With) this wreckage so high, I shake just to look
 In their Eyes —
                                      




Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Experience: Beasts Of Burden; Din of Inequity



The Grind Of The Mind 

There becomes a process of routine by which one has to adapt  to psychologically maintain semblance of order and the sense of progression and sanity simultaneously: you can not continuously be reminded that, in all reality, you live on the street, even if it is inside an aluminum-sided, wooden framed living space where your heat and electricity do work, it still has 6 wheels and a license plate,its still an RV .


You still reside in a vehicle..though it has beds, a dining area, an operable stove that runs on propane and functional bathroom with a working shower stall. It still has a steering wheel connected to the motor. This is our 'home'...


But it's still a vehicle.


 We live on the streets in our vehicle. A 'motorhome', yes..but this not a vacation in the wilderness. It is a family residing in a vehicle that has to wrestle with parking safely at night, keeping fuel levels up enough to run the generator, which powers the coach  lights and water pump on the daily. Propane levels have to be monitored for the stove operation as well, so that we can actually cook food. There is even a  refrigerator on board, but works intermittently. Fresh foods bought or donated are consumed almost the same day to prevent spoilage and food poisoning


Another tenant of this reality: I am still unemployed. Joblessness happens, but an extended period of time and trying: sending, on average 2-5 resumes out per day for 4 months with no offer of work, shades your optimism, coupled with the compacted (and not entirely safe) living situation. Having to don a suit for interviews (when the opportunity actually occurs) becomes a challenge, because as one attempts presentability:  you have to carry on as though your a million bucks..when your bank account is -$75.00, and you live in a vehicle..


and you have been battling illness for a month and a half. And you still have to interview, make casual conversion with the Director of the Security department who is monitoring your every response to check for any 'chinks' in your personality that could disturb the ebb and flow of his department by hiring you. The game face has to stay intact, even though you have constant congestion, and you have been deaf in one ear for nearly 2 and a half weeks, because the intensity of the congestion , as you have discovered  from a previous visit to the clinic , has pulled down your eardrum over the bone in your left ear.


Yep, carrying on like your ready to rock, yet you have to strain just to listen and respond on cue..because your deaf in one ear: your illness is having an extended holiday using your immune system as a swimming pool and spa, largely because the weather-proofing in your RV (which you live in with your family), is about as well-insulated during cold nights as an empty soda can, Your never really 'rested' at all, just rebooted without the luxury of completely unplugging to benefit capacity to recover. Water, caffeine, nicotine, sudafed and amoxicillan become an actual augment to your diet just to function.


All this combined turned an already doggedly difficult circumstance in to a grind that at times, tested the very fibers of my own sanity. The symptoms of which where not going away quickly, and finding respite from this addled state became somewhat of a battle against a sort of mental claustrophobia: I couldn't escape my physical, and couldn't find that 'quiet spacing' mentally. 


Pushing forward became monumental. Yet, there I was in mid March conducting an interview with a hotel Director who needed someone with experience, as the plethora of applicants (totaling 75 by his account) did not possess what he was looking for in this single job opening he was seeking to fill quickly. From what I was starting to gather  over this 45 minutes of questioning and casual conversation, he had made up his mind.


But it would take nearly two more weeks, and second interview with Human Resources to find out.


There is a quiet but alarming pathos that can develop when your homeless. It can overtake you without warning, and the longer the displacement, without any concrete evidence of progression that is palpable enough which to draw hope from can occur. It can create complacency, unhealthy acceptance of kestasis, materializing itself as a sense of 'comfortable' compliance and resignation..


You become used to it.


The 'New' School: A 'Different' Corruption

The children had spent 2-3 years of their collective development being home-schooled, as the Los Angeles School system was absolutely without meaningful academic compassing, and had placed focus on numbers to retain its funding per child per school rather than render meaningful education that enhances knowledge. Since 2007, American schools have seen a rise of lay-offs, school closures, pension raiding and being a tool for both local and national political posturing by both 'parties'. this toxic cocktail had resulted in the schools themselves in L.A. turn into nothing more than wherehouses for funding: fiscal favoritism based  on how many families ask for meal assistance through school lunch programs , which for a school, turns into a sort of ancillary revenue stream to bolster funding from local, state, and federal sources. Clearing state mandated levels of academic performance through standardize testing has become the primary revenue generator. The school system has been reduced to nothing more than a self-interested institution more concerned with its survival through these means rather than maintaining focus on meaningful curriculum and enrichment.


It has literally become a factory of 'shit in, shit out' for children, a place where mounds of homework is stuffed down the throats of students; and parroting information is more the goal  for clearing yearly state mandated testing every May, rather than developing skills children need to manage their academic lives and improve their cognizance skills. 


Having to home school them in a stable environment since our displacement was no longer feasible; they had to return to a brick-and-mortar school until we could find permanent residence. My wife and I also needed time during the day where focus on elevation out of this displacement could be given more attention.


My wife and I had enrolled at them Monarch Academy: a school directly serving the need of San Diego area homeless children in March. The school was a gold mine, as it not only provided a proper school structure for our children, but also three meals a day for students, and meals to homeless parents twice a week. They also provided 'shopping days ' assigned to each class every six weeks, where the children 'shop' for clothes (all new, unsold inventory donated by local business and individuals). Provided, also, was the option for children to shower at school as well. Toiletries and towels were regularly donated for their use.


The day before my children were to start, my son had expressed excitement about returning to school, in the hopes making new friends, and my daughter was extremely anxietal: worried she would not make any. It appeared, at first glance, that my son seem to also be given a sort of 'reward' for all the challenges he had faced  being patient and strong: he had been enrolled just in time for an opportunity a curious-minded lover of the outdoors could only possibly dream of:


An all-expenses paid field trip with his new class to a wildlife research facility stationed on Catalina Island. All his outdoor explorations and exploits seemingly to culminate at this well-suited apex...


My son had never been away from 'home'; from us. There were controversial feelings that resided within my wife and I. For two months, it had been just the 4 of us, which had brought a closeness that still resides to this day, and suddenly, there was this spectacular thing my son was being given. My wife was not comfortable with setting him out under these unusual cirmstances. I had reservations, so I asked him what he thought. His answer?


"I want to go!"


And off he went: his first day of school he was on a bus bound for Long Beach: himself and about 20 other homeless children from his class all crowding into the chartered bus in the evaporating night sky giving way to early morning; chattering loudly as kids do knowing a repreive from the mundanity of scholastic routine was upon them. To honor this auspicious occasion, we elected to bring the 'home' with us to give him a proper send-off. We pulled the 25-foot beast around the corner to an adjacent parking lot, opened the side door , handed him his back which was meticulous put together for him the night before and walked him to the loading area in front of the school.


As my son took his seat in the middle of the bus, I remember the promise I made to him: that I would land this job I was currently interviewing for.


'Dad..get that job..get us a home..I want to come back to that. I think you're going to get it.' 


While this was going through my mind, and my wife's emotions began to overtake her seeing her only son leave the sanctity of family for the first time, the celebratory air of pre-dawn was ripped by an obnoxious voice belonging to a frail and obtuse looking young lad wide-striding toward the bus as if to announce his presence to all within earshot..


'I'm sexy and I know it!', his lanky, spastic frame bouncing nervously by us, then  disappearing into the bus itself. He then suddenly stopped at the presence of my son's new  teacher, Dana Harwood, whom was standing mid isle, and I studied passively for a minute. She then directed him to take charge of the other students. The boy then turned around and stared at my son with an odd look of immediate disdain.


As the bus departed in that moment, my wife turn toward me asking "Do you think that kid is going to be a problem for our son?." It was a question that would unveil itself in the coming months, and expose yet another force of corruption: that being one of the psychopathy of 'celebrity'.


A very complex relationship in regards to Monarch Academy and its charity-based status.


This relationship, as  I would soon witness directly , compromises  the safety and welfare of these students for the sake of such 'public relations'. The evil being the allowance of violent behavior of a few students that damages the majority, who are already damaged, to continue.. so that certain senior administartors can have the opportunity to be portrayed as heros on talk shows and cry accordingly ..all for dramatic effect, and shameless self-promotion and advancement. This is the dark side of a 501(c) school which draws 45% to 60% of its operating costs from public and private donations; dependent on its public persona as a safe haven for families displaced. The nuance being between that of  the most unique sanctuary for at-risk children in the U.S. who have the genuine need so that their education is not completely compromised, yet being a repository for ego and manipulation through certain 'poster' children who are exploited for the goal of profit in the form of donations...


An April 2012 episode of Ellen Degeneres featuring Joel Garcia, Monarch Academy Principal, whom is being awarded for his 'heroic efforts'. It is unfortunate his 'heroism' did not lend itself to providing my son a safe environment to attend this school, and was more focused in preserving certain 'poster children' to continue this type of public relations and adulation  unabated.  Amazing how even the slightest bit of celebrity can corrupt one. But , at least the 'crying' is convincing..perchance Mr. Garcia should've been an actor..


As in all adversity, the weight of the emotional  outcome is decided by the parents. I would see in these controversial and strange three months a strength emanate from both my children that will shape thier very character for years to come. The return to public school life would be a hard transition for both, in particular my son, beyond the expected 'norm' of pre-adolescence.


These are 'the days', spectacular in the unbelievable harshness and bare exposure to elements both in the physical and the mental ; the reality of being 'in  battle', as we are still ultimately 'alone'..it was redifining all of us. Quietly.